full speed into the wall head first, no helmet, on repeat for the last six months, no longer an accident but more a designed failure, seeking traction on treacherous terrain, loss of direction, affection and inspiration, wheels spinning, feet slipping, gravel spitting, driven insane, lungs burning, muscles torn, palpitations and vision blurred, speeding well past terminal velocity and about to hit the boost

daydreams of a suicidal scream queen

ratchet up the adrenaline, a home with no doors, stairs to nowhere, windows overlooking an alleyway of drunken homeless and lovesick cats fucking

ferocious, delicious, nutritious, devoted to devoting time to devoted lovers loving the livelihood of lingering and lecherous loquacious progeny, lust consuming, labor inducing, loss intruding and limp and lulling sense of cacophonius fellatio, frothing and fermented from sugar and grateful gaseous release, no relief, no redundancies, residencies, or failed presidencies

intergalactic flight recorder, phaser set to fun

railing against the winter of my disaffected regret filled aging neurosis, necrotic tales of teen comedies and sexual imnuendos

i want to slow dance to some laid back fifties style jazz, harmonious and interpretive, freestyle and fundamentally flawed like me, not like you, beautiful with a thousand watt smile and a stare that makes me want to throw myself down the stairs and fetch whatever your little heart desires, retires and or requires

all i am fully aware of is my lack of being aware of anything, a solid state hard drive with a quadrant out of sync with the disharmonic realities you toss when you flash your teeth and i know it is coming for my throat, my heart, my wretched reactionary of rejected boy band lyrics and false amplification disarray, dismay, delay, decay

okay

monolithic, nihilistic, triumphant pack of fruit flavored gummies in the sun, melting back into the bone the gelatin was boiled out of, biology films in reverse, centigrade, Celsius, calcified, deep fried, inlaid with ivory and walrus tusks and a touch of manticore, dyslexic draconian deviants driving through a simple deluge of indigestable indiscriminate shapes of folklore and folk dance

lost my train of thought so i follow the tracks and find myself tied to them as a light barrels out of the tunnel, a funnel, a fun house mirror image of hope, freebase powdered sugar and antiseptic, antibiotic, antisemitic, antacids and angular cheek bones connected to connective tissue, tissue paper and tangential analysis of any where but here

my mind, has any one seen my mind, i left it tied to the bike rack with a pack of cheese crackers and a convoluted explanation to the series finale of lost

we were dead the whole time painted into a corner to asphyxiate on the fumes of the budget paint and foam rollers we use to apply make up to cover the bruises of another violent episode of arthurian artisan bread bowls, watch out for lancelot he can get a bit grabby, handsy like a producer, peculiar and reticent

hammer home the end and leave them wanting

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