the taste of whiskey will always be synonymous with your lips, the feel of your hair as i pull it, the taste of your throat as i hold your head back

the sweet burn as it goes down and the smell of your perfume as we pull over just so we can kiss some more

that night on the street in deep ellum, under the street lights with the band playing inside the bar

your broken strap and the heels left in the center of the road as an offering to whatever gods watched us that evening

it was cool that night, but the combination of your mouth and the whiskey made it like a summer evening

do you remember

how the crowds walked around us you pinned me against the light pole

how no matter how deeply we kissed it barely scratched the surface

you told me to take you home but you meant mine

we sang fuck authority by pennywise as we raced down the road, and i was intoxicated on you more than by any of the liquor we consumed

what we had didn’t last but what was there was amazing

and now, as i sit with a glass of that same whiskey, listening to shai maestro trio too loudly, the flush on my cheeks from too much drink, too much rememberance

i wish you were sitting here too

not to kiss, but i would if i could, but to relish in your company again, to hear your laugh, to smell your perfume mixed with cigarette smoke and whiskey

i would play something with a lot of bass like you love, make you smile and hide your lovely face when you realized i was trying not to stare and failing

instead

i’ll just turn the music up and drink until i can’t recall your taste

pretend it didn’t destroy me when you disappeared from my life, and remind me of that pain when you came back again

i don’t need you, but i’ll be damned if i don’t still want you, a part of me at least