got an email today
about bracelets
i don’t wear much jewelery
but
these caught my eye

they make a disc
on each disc
they show the planets position
on a certain day
in a certain year

a unique time stamp

an array of dates
flashed
through my mind
that are burned
into my medial temporal lobe

that day in late november
i held her for the first time
a little squirming pink form
knowing
i would do anything
to keep her safe

the end of june
when he came into being
the second piece
snapping into place

beginning of july
coming home
to a now empty existence
her stuff
the dogs
all gone

the cool october evening
standing on the sidewalk
falling into each other
the taste of alcohol and abandon
on our lips

late september rain
on the windshield
driving slowly past the cemetery too ashamed
too broken to stand
as they lowered her down

march
fumbling with the words
trying to say how i felt
as my face burned

first kisses
last embraces
exchanging words of forever
in a temporary state
the email forgotten
but the deep burnt in images
never fading

i would need to be atlas
to lift my arms
with all the bangles
i would have to carry

some days
the weight of the memories alone
is soul crushing
to know
the location of the planets
as well

too much
it is all

too much

heavier still
knowing
there will not be another
aligning
not for me