i see these reminders
of valentine’s day
fast approaching
of chocolate hearts
declarations
of undying devotion
already dying flowers
in a cheap vase

maybe i always did it wrong
perhaps
that is why
this is yet another
in a long string
of hallmark holidays
spent wondering what it is
exactly
that i so
fundamentally
lack

i tried to make every day
valentines’s day
tell her
she is beautiful
how much i love her
that perfection
rolls off of her
like dew
from the morning blossom

maybe
making my ex-forevers
understand
what i saw in them
made them immune to it
the words
the actions
lost all meaning
like eating chocolate everyday
or smelling lilies
in a vase
every morning

they took for granted
the love i showered them with
until they decided
if they were so special
maybe
just maybe
they deserved better
than a depressed poet
with nothing
but words and kisses
strong hands and massages

it was my fault
everyday
cannot be valentine’s
every kiss
cannot be passionate
even through the sadness
that defines part of my soul
i tried to make them smile
now i sit in silence
and smile no more

i hope
you get flowers
that are nearly
as beautiful as you
a card with words
that sum up
part of your magnificence
candy that tastes
nearly as sweet
as your lips
from someone
that loves you
nearly as much
as i did