it appears
my fragility
was just the precursor
to agony

the drums began
rumbling
within the vacant halls
in my skull
a steady staccato
that has risen
to deafening tones

i fell asleep
at one
to be woken
at three
to lay
to lie
telling myself
this is fine

this is fine

i stood
in the shower
until the hot water
was a memory
on goosepimpled
flesh

ate aspirin
like i was starving
my stomach rumbled
i was starving
i needed to eat
i recalled
through dull
tsunamis

i was starving
but not for
sustenance
i had been starved
for months
a year
nothing
just half baked poetry
mixed with emptiness
oil on water
one rancid
the other stagnant
swirling
a yin yang
of divisive self
loathing

my skull rivets
popping
the hull breach
of a submarine
the water pressure
the equivalent of
a focused laser
power washing
my mind

i thought of you
between
ebbing agonies
a bright spot
in the eternal dark
dwelling
just beneath
the bone

this is
undoubtedly
fine