the fools reads about himself and cries

loving someone with anxiety

This article destroyed me this morning. This is me. I am broken and worthless. I am not alone in my loneliness and I have sobbed all morning. It doesn’t help knowing I am like this. It doesn’t help anyone that falls into the fool’s world.

I’m sorry. I love you. And I’m even more sorry for that. Don’t let me ruin you too.

13 thoughts on “the fools reads about himself and cries

  1. Mike, I cried too. She nailed it. Thank you for the link.

    I love so hard, but my love has *always* been corrupted by fear. I’ve spent 2/3 of my life trying to cleanse the corruption. It’s a daily thing though. I have to work at it or the darkness keeps creeping back. But that’s its job — you know? Put out the light. It helped me to think of it that way. And it’s the light’s job is to put out the darkness.

    I think for me the brightest light comes from love no matter how imperfect. Friends who love you unconditionally and remind you that you are worthy and loved and who see you as the best version of yourself — they are the light. They believe in you when you can’t believe in yourself.

    You are a beautiful soul, exactly as you are now. As your wise friend said above, you are exactly where you are meant to be. It will get easier. Pain is a very hard teacher, that’s why most people run from it rather than learn the lessons. You’re not running. I really respect that. Don’t give up. Keep bathing in the light.

    Thank you for your truth. It takes a lot of strength to speak with such open-hearted vulnerability.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course. I mean it too. I have called this guy out twice this week for not responding to texts. I do every single thing in there and I’ll be damned if that means I’m not worthy of being loved.

        Being a challenge makes one even more worth it. We’re like jigsaw puzzles. We can be frustrating but when you put us together we’re worth it.

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Dude same. Then it feels like you’re alone in loving because the other person’s love doesn’t match the way you love. For me, I also have incredibly high expectations of how I want to be loved because of the intensity with which I love. Spoiler alert! No one ever comes close.

            Then comes the freaking out and the eventual me ruining a good thing.

            Liked by 1 person

              1. I’m the opposite. I shout it from the rooftops. Then I’m like wtf the smallest thing changed and I’m freaking out cuz I gave too much of myself.

                Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Mike,

    You’re not worthless nor could you ruin anyone. In this day and age, most of us are broken. Love isn’t about avoiding broken people, it’s about finding someone whose broken pieces fit into yours with minimal scratching. Sometimes we cut each other with our pieces, but when we find a way to fit together, we make mosaics that are beautiful.

    Please don’t tell yourself you’re not worthy of love. You are a gifted poet who makes sauerkraut. I’m sure you have many other talents as well. Anyone would be lucky to have you, flaws and all.

    Liked by 2 people

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