my eyes snapped open
as the alarm sang
i managed to string
three hours in a row
yet the tired clings
to my shaky bones
a thin veneer of
skeletal hoarfrost

i have managed to
second guess my way
through three near
sleepless evenings
tearing apart all of
my life in summation

repeating my mantra
into the uncaring ceiling
my love to the kids
my love to her
trying to diffuse the
manic anxiety into
soft kisses to float
cherry blossoms on the breeze

but when i sleep
my dead friends huddle
seeking a bit of warmth
from the death defying fool
striking from the shadows
plastic lashes erupt
down a scoliosis center

this house of cards
sinister skulls glaring
at hapless wanderers
begins to flutter as
reality takes on a more
liquid state of disbelief
everything is in flux
another grim rictus shakes
the room around me
and i want nothing more
than to give every ounce
of my love to her
before the death cards
flay the skin from bone

listless and limping
lost in this landscape
of ill defined hells
anxiety coats my soul
a horror of hoarfrost
in frozen scenes of torment
a ball of screams lodged
at the base of my own
vacant insignificance