an incessant buzzing

an incessant buzzing
a mask of angry
tarantula wasps stinging
an endless assault of
anxiety screaming

i have lost track
in the needles
which is happening
which is metaphorical

i wonder
draped in miseries
a whore in my
finest rags
is this hell
this incessant throb
a dull ache that has
only truly dulled
my ability to
somewhat function
rusted hooks
of depression tearing
furrows in my flesh

is it hell

trapped alone
with these thoughts
whispers
begging the question
why do we continue
when all that
is ever assured
is pain

no one knows
what is next

if anything

just a pithy
manuscript of hearsay
explaining
how to not be
a bad person
in defiance of
human nature
a promise that
no one can keep
that something
better awaits

do we sleep
so we can remember
the nothingness
from which we sprang
idiotic and pure

or simply to
find brief escape
from the machinations
of a life
unasked for

is that the same thought
voiced in duality

all i know is
this incessant buzzing
heat and the taste
of batteries
in the back of my mouth
does nothing to
assuage the sound
of anxiety screaming

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