all of my actions
are inconsequential
my unhappiness
affects no one
my retreating from
losing situations
go largely unnoticed
my guts spilled out
are casually yet
proudly ignored
and still i continue on
a perpetual motion machine
unaffected by
the entropic friction
in this universal disdain
culpable to my own
fleeting sparks of
faltering necessities

i didn’t say
good bye
because everything else
i said went to
unread messages
and the thought
of announcing my intent
to vanish
when i never really
seemed to exist
was a step too far
maybe part of me
hoped my absence
would be noted
even as i knew
i wasn’t ever truly
there to begin with

i am no escapist fantasy
because you cannot
free yourself from
this undulating disaster
fully intact
i leave scars
in kiss marks
far deeper than
the flesh can ever
hope to show
a stain that goes
into your very soul
leaving us both
irreversibly changed
you grow heavier from my
accumulated sorrows
and i grow lesser
as you pull away
with bits of my heart
still glistening
between your perfect teeth


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