a feeling of
having been beaten
or each muscle
jolted by voltage
seizing cramps
from the adrenaline
in panicked attacks
where fight or flight
are mere dreams
because the enemy
is yourself and
no matter how hard
i attempt to
flee my brain it
is the only reality
in chemically saturated
insanity i can trust
to stab me in the
chest while smiling
today feels like i
survived a car crash
from the rampant abuse
anxiety puts on my
bonedust sacrilege
shaking hands grasp
at the coffee to
alleviate the fog
murmuring despairs
in the nascent light
of another nightmare
fighting a war against
a foe i cannot hope
to ever defeat because
he knows my every
weakness and exploits
them to their fullest
so i just try to
breathe and move on
ever vigilant for
movement in the brush
aching from head to
toe as the last sparks
still flash between
the broken filaments
connecting desolations
in the hard scrabble
of ephemeral disasters
and softly sung songs
to an absence of dream