when the dust
finally settles
our organs
are unceremoniously
bagged and tossed
into our abdominal
cavity and our
blood has been
siphoned out
replaced with the
brightly colored
formaldehyde
the paperthin
flesh reduced to
dust in a film
over pitted ivory
the things that
made us miserable
the piece of food
wedged between
broken molars
agitating anxieties
hold no sway over
over the blanket
of nothingness
carefully placed
over consciousness
so why is it our
brains obsess over
them and taint
the briefness of
our momentary lives

we want to be
seen
valued
made part of
our loved ones
lives in an
impactful way
the same as they
affect
our own
but nestled
in consciousness
is an inherent
solipsism
where when we
close our eyes
the universe
fades away

the casual
causality in
the emptiness
at the end
of this cataclysm
where emotions
war upon one another
is the reward
for suffering
through a
catastrophic
accident
an overstaurated
comet speeding
through this
irradiated cloud
of electrical
impulses crackling
in a sea of
poorly manufactured
chemical relapses
dying lights
from failing
vessels seeking
a connection
in the vastness
of the space
between fading souls

or maybe that’s
the only way i can
wrap my head
around the things
that keep me
up at three am
the lumpy pillow
filled with all
the ultimately
ignored i love yous
holding my head
at an awkward angle
muttering to the
ceiling because
the knowledge of
and acceptance in
the meaningless
of existence
doesn’t pacify an
aching fool who
feels everything
too intensely
even as he accepts
it is all delusionary