i don’t believe
in very much
after a lifetime
of meandering attempts

i understand
the necessity for
mythos and order

as random acts
of evolution accumulated
it has been established
a species will rise
to the tippy top

it was better
for the planet when
the apex predator
didn’t have enough
awareness to adopt
a god complex

humanity happened
to irrevocably buck the trend

and when a group
of entitled cumrags
can commit rape
and get off because
“one mistake shouldn’t ruin
a promising future”
without considering
the promising future
of the fucking victim

well
you can see why
someone made up
an all knowing
all judging sky daddy
to keep the natural
tendencies to be shit
somewhat in check

it was just a matter of time
before someone figured out
how to rig this system
and control the masses

humans are animals
despite fancy clothing
and pollution belching
machinery to conquer
the natural world
we are in denial over
being the same as a dog
eagerly licking the hand
of whichever master feeds us
and snarling at shadows

a lifetime being human
surrounded by humans
bearing witness to humanity
led me to believe
in basically nothing
except the intrinsic chaos
and those beautiful instances
when seeming magic occurs

it took sixty four years
from bobby fisher announcing
chess needed to change
until it officially listened
one year for each square
on the chess board
not by design but simple chance
a strange synchronicity which
unveils itself in random acts
of wonder if you’re patient
enough to watch the flows

humanity tapdances
at the edge of annihilation
blindly believing we hold
some sacred inner purpose
while ignoring the fact
this chance existence
is so fleeting
we forget to live
for fear of dying
so consumed with predestiny
we squander life by inventing
insular everyday miseries
as an excuse not to try our best

karma only makes sense
if the universe is at balance
and you can hear the news
and honestly believe
any of these bastards will ever
truly pay for their deeds
they die rich and with the best care
while their victims pay
every single day

makes it hard to believe
in anything except
the idiocy of it all

but don’t listen to me
a bipolar burnout
who writes bad poetry
and pays too much attention
to the patterns seeking
a little magic in the dark