The chorus arrived finally. Did not bring the end of the headache with it though. Even napped to see if that would happen then, but alas, nothing.
The chorus was not what I wanted. It turned out to be meandering and sad and we were shooting for uplifting. Everything seems sad so a little good news was hoped for.
I have accomplished nothing today except for a shave and shower. Head won’t shut the fuck up. Constant picking. Nasty nasty nasty little mouth.
Been bad words and good intentions all the fuck over this place today.
Slicing the sinew clean today my dear. Flaying the meat gently from the bone. Vivsecting and haphazardly hacking away with no thought onto whether it is necessary or not. Delicate butterfly filets. Opening this mug up.
Words about things that describe other things and gently replace them in a way one thing seems like it is another but just represents something else.
Emotive words and ones of intense pain. Loss and remeberence and drunk dialing the dictator of a small country and asking if his refrigerator is running.
Fuck right off and get it then my man. Fuck right off.
Listening to Primus and facing an internal loop of dismay is like death by cop. You know how it plays out but you go through the motions anyway.
I bet that is deep because I don’t get it.
Story of my life right there.
I do get it. it feels heavy handed and if I allowed myself to delete I would. But it is there for ever.
inexplicably I can only really focus on how I fucked up. not through words or action but by not understanding or seeing the whole picture.
I guess today has been shit. Really could use a win or sign that I am moving forward instead of this overwhelming sense of stagnant.
Lost my train of thought. If there was one to be had. I have an excess of things to say today but none of it works. I need to learn to shut the fuck up. Even on days when I have not uttered a peep.
love you. sleep well and rise. yeah