Not Today Satan

The ex is a wily creature. Preternaturally efficient at knowing the right time to strike. They sit coiled in the shadows, watching for moments of weakness. See also: demon, succubus, and dream crusher

They come with flowery words and sinister intent. Somehow sensing that the last thing you need right now is the only thing they can serve. Drama. Sex with obligation. Horror and pain.

They say all exes are born human, like us. Some say we are all exes to someone. Like A Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hyde scenario. Some say exes are boogiemen used to frighten those newly in love. Monsters just out of sight in the mirror.

I have heard tales of men driven insane by an ex and going back again and again. Like a broken yoyo that is not wanted but knows nothing else. Women gone mad and follow and try to meddle in exes lives. It is viscious. Endless. Evil.

My friends, I have a confession to make. I am an ex. 

Look away. Do not submit your eyes to this abomination.I never meant to be one. 

I assumed my first girlfriend would be my last. And the drunken flings don’t count. They don’t count, Right? Fuck. 

And sometimes you know what you are doing is a bad idea, that there is a shelf life. Like say she is way younger than you and you know it is a mistake but you piss away time because the sex is amazing and you haven’t felt alive for so long at this point even a suicide dive is intoxicating. 

Hypothetically speaking. Asking for a friend.

It is me. You know enough shit about me at this point I can not imagine disappointing you even more.

I am someone’s worst mistake. I know who. Now you do to. 

So been low. Whatevs. Kids keep me going. Slow time in the day. Phone goes off. I get excited. Don’t know the number. Fuck. 

She is great. Always was. We just stopped coexisting on the same plane. It happens. 

I thought we were past the reach out to chat state. Then it happens. Every time it stirs up a little less. Today was just remembering the good times. Feels good to be at that spot. She is special, a one in a million and i am lucky to have spent time in her orbit if I am being honest. She is beautiful and sweet. Loving and stern. I wish I hadn’t pissed it away. Been better. Hahaha. 

might as well wish to have wings. I am a ruined. some men build, some destroy. I wrecked the fuck outta that. And this does even bring in the kids. I broke four hearts being me. And I foolishly hope someone else gives me a shot.

fuck me, Right? 

Melancholy Malaise

Be wary of exes my friends and be safe. Hugs and sloppy wet kisses

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