my neighbor came over and knocked on my door

she was frantic

gato subido un arbol

i knew gato

my spanish is limited to mostly profanity

had she said pinche joto, cabrón, blanco diablo

i would have gotten the gist

she grabbed my arm insisting gato subido un arbol

gato subido un arbol

her daughter stood next to their door and pointed to the yard

it is dark out

i left my phone and couldn’t translate

they both pointed and yelled

gato subido un arbol

i stupidly repeated it back

they nodded, si, gato subido un arbol

well fuck me, thanks for clarifying that mess

then i saw the eyes reflecting the light

motherfucking gato subido un arbol

cat in a tree

i used my big old brain and figured that out with just the help of seeing the cat in the tree

i looked at them, overly proud of myself

they looked at me expectantly

oh

they wanted me to get gato out of arbol

ugh

so now it is nine o’clock at night i am blanco diablo subido un arbol

they thought it was funny when i said that

of course they did

hissing little beast was not as happy as it swiped my nose

for a second i considered gato muerte

see, i am capable of learning

i passed down the cat to the happy little girl

the time at the fire station did me some good

until

until

so i lost my footing climbing down

my sock slipped

landed on my ass

hard to look heroic with a bruised tail bone

yep

but guess who got fresh tamales

blanco diablo did

gato subido un arbol ain’t got shit on me