hey

what

are you asleep

i think so

let’s play a game

at first i thought the game was about how long you can hold your breath

don’t breathe

don’t make a sound

seeing spots and feeling dizzy

the room is filled with poison

my cheeks are ballooned up with stale gas

then it dawned on me

there is no poison

this is a dream

is this a dream

i began trying to pinch myself

trying to wake up

maybe this is sleep paralysis

i’m not breathing because my chest is unable to constrict

i cannot expell the excess waste

my diaphragm is locked rigid

the first thought when you realize it is all unresponsive is to panic

all around my vision is a red haze

the last time this happened i had a horrendous fever and my blood oxygen level was twelve percent

you were stronger then and barely survived

i’m so frail feeling right now

lack of oxygen probably

i surely cannot live through this

maybe

maybe not

maybe i’ve just forgotten how to again

that happens

sure

been doing it on autopilot for so long

so very long

just have to manually reboot my brain stem

how do you do that again

hold volume down and power for three seconds

that’s take a screenshot

control alt delete

bring up the console

end processes

that sounds right

it does

if you are a computer

i can’t feel my arms

motor control has gone dormant

i’ll wake up

they say you never see yourself die in dreams

wait

you’ve seen yourself die in plenty of dreams

i’d take a calming breath but i’ve forgotten how

you’re born breathing

that’s true

this should be easy

amniotic fluid though

oh goddess

that’s true too

it takes a good whack on the back to dislodge the remaining fluid

but my arms don’t work

or bend like that

need to find my center

deep calming breaths

i cannot breathe

oh yeah

that could be an issue

what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do what do i do

close your eyes and sleep

yeah

good idea

i’ll go to sleep

are you asleep now

yes

i think so

let’s play a game

the room is filled with poison