as far as i was concerned her name was oxygen because i couldn’t figure out how to live without her

but like jurrasic park

life finds a way

she was my mallory

and i most certainly thought i was her mickey

our crazy just resonated together in a harmony that made silly things like laws seem obtuse and archaic

she was peanut butter to my punch you in the fucking mouth

i was jelly to her claw your eyes out on the sidewalk

it was unorthodox but we made it work like two gears engaging on an arch villian’s world ending device

that’s what i need in my life again

i doubt i will ever find the marbles i lost after years of abuse and drunken role models

the head of the screw has been stripped by all the near misses and almosts so it is perpetually loose

but there is beauty buried deep under the horror

or maybe it is the horror

hard to tell

i’m looking for my straightjacket to keep me safe at night instead of roaming the streets with an empty bottle of pills and a jagged shard of glass

she doesn’t need to be a therapist

just insane enough to handle me

i’ll be the life of the party while she rifles through the drawers in search of jewelry

harley to my jack napier

quick on the draw with a lighter so when it all becomes too much we can burn it down and ride off into the night together

or when i am down she can give me a sign that maybe some how it will all be okay

and when i’m flying high on the crazy sauce and spitting out indecipherable lines of poetry

she can translate it into human for me

and i’ll be her bulletproof vest

always willing to jump in front of any danger we may so accidentally intentionally draw upon ourselves

i’m not smart

or good looking

but i can take a punch and snarl like the wolfman on crank

take a pool cue across the back and pick up half of it and do some surgery

if i ever find the one that is

the one that sings to me when my head is pounding

encourages me when the words are screaming

and doesn’t mind a slow dance to the songs in our heads in the middle of the sidewalk

onlookers beware

i’m not adverse to kissing deeply in a crowded room

i will publicly shower her with affection if she is so inclined

because i don’t need normal

i need her

whoever the hell she is

accepting applications

crayon is fine

blood is satisfactory

let me fall into your soul as you whisper the darkest secrets you have into my more than willing ears

i’m not a good man

but give me a shot and i can be the best man

just know it’s not easy

you will become my muse, my inspiration and i will make you the she and her in my every line of insipidness

i run hot and cold but never stray

never stray

it’s not in my dna

that jacob’s ladder that tries it’s damnedest to define me and crackles with electricity

i’m not okay

but i would like to be

be my oxygen

my merriam webster and help define me

please