cluster doubt

you hear my words expounding upon my perception on your perfection, yet it sounds like more of the same inane banal nonsense of the pursuer desperately chasing a girl

if there were a way to invent a new language

one in which the subtly that has been lost in the groan inducing ones we use today could be applied

one where every time a lie is spoken the words are stricken from the global lexicon

until all the words left are truth

and i looked into your eyes and told you that you are truly perfection and then walked away

would the intent be proven

or would the lingering doubts of past plays of imperfection and self seen flaws tarnish the shine on them and in your mind erase them as well thus taking them from my lips forever

as i’m bound to this couch with the pain of three vortexs travelling through my mind the only comfort i find is hoping you are happy and safe

a lackadaisical daydream of remorse that i can never tell you my feelings because we both know i’ll lose that sliver of you that hovers just out of frame

maybe it’s the headache or the long travel or the self deprication and deprivation that doesn’t allow my mind to stave off these errant thoughts

the constant pummeling of doubt that colors every painting i fumble my way through, never satisfied with the results, never capturing that in you which shines like a million sun’s into the dark of my world

a lack of sleep, a lack of dream, a lack of substance

each milestone earned a rhinestone burned into the gaping maw of universally spurned

One thought on “cluster doubt

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