sipping wine from the bottom of the barrel

red lips and unfocused eyes

antifreeze and failing kidneys

wobbly like a cowboy fresh from the dusty trail

got an itchy trigger finger

a pocket full of dollars

and a need to wash the dirt from every crevice cracking my facade

haven’t been on a horse for so long

not sure if i could hold on

but this wine got me spinning and i’m up for a try so baby just hold up

i see two of you

and i can’t separate fact from diction

help me on

i’ll break this bucking stallion

and dedicate it all to you

eight seconds

sixteen at this point

where am i

how in the hell did get up here

or down here as seems more accurate

it is too early to be this damn late

where did time go

broken watch and my phone is dead

the fumes are making me nauseated

why did i think you were here holding my hand and whispering promises neither of us can ever hope to keep

another empty rain barrel

ruby red stains on my face

claw marks down my back

i need a second to catch my bearings

horseshoe bruises on my chest

and despairingly false sense of self

i’m too damn stupid to be this self aware

yet unaware at the same sickening moment

let me try again

saddle that bronco

hold my spine i’ll need that later

if i die

i loved you

once more into unfinity

just another saddle sore city slicker with dreams

surfing the gutters of this two horse town

tin star pinned into the flesh of my chest

the trickle of blood and unsung sonata

i need help