i never imagined
that
it would end up like this

if you had asked me
ten years ago
what the end would be like
i would have said
raining blood
polar ice caps melting
flooding everywhere
nuclear war
plague of locusts
mole men
from the center
of the hollow world

it just seemed
like a simpler answer
i like simple
complicated
has a way of
well
complicating things

had you said
something
along the lines of how
aliens that look like labrapoodles
with freaky psionic powers
would be enslaving humanity
and
blowing the planet to hell
i would have laughed
shaken my head

had you then said
that a few chosen humans
would be put on leashes
paraded around the universe
as their pets
i would have laughed harder
began to worry about your sanity

guess i look like an ass
with a spiked collar
right about now
don’t i

now
can someone
take these cones off my hands
i have an itch