organ donor regrets

i am
an
organ donor
but
i am
having
second thoughts

they say
the ones
who
receive the organs
sometimes
have flashes
of
the donor’s
feelings
and
thoughts

can i risk that

does
saving
a life
and
inflicting pain
still
equal
a gift

take
my eyes
and
see
the image
of
her
burnt
into
the cornea

or
my heart
with that
incessant
ache
the longing
etched
into
it’s fibers

i am
tainted
by
these memories
a slave
to
this devotion

can
i
do this
to
another

i am
an
organ donor
but
for how much
longer

these eyes
have
feasted
upon such beauty
this heart
beat
only for her
this liver
crippled
from her
intoxicating
ways
these organs
played
a
hymnal for her

i
am
a fool
for
checking that box
unaware
of
fleeting mortality

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