60

the transient subversion of mitochondrial incontinence leads to false manhandling of litigious legumes

59

the brass clock clicks as the nervous ticks begin to rapid fire, his face grows wan this trembling man as he begins to perspire

58

breathe, just breathe, let the salt laden air infuse you with cleanliness

57

the sky is yellow. the car is covered in accumulated bird shit. everything falls apart. he grins. shakes his head. it most certainly is whatever day today is. a rueful chuckle. a bird lands on the roof and cocks it’s hollow boned neck. we all die it intones in sing song fashion before exploding into a shower of dust. he chuckles to himself.

56

tick tock, time for another strategic punch in the solar plexus

55 – 53

coffee trickles through the grounds, the now caffeinated liquid rests mournfully in the pot, steaming gently, calling out in the morning malaise

52

the third alarm, strategically set does little to shake the cobwebs, from one pile of muscle and bone in bed, to a new reiteration on the couch

53

he forgot to pour coffee

52

the world is on fire. it is always on fire. his head hurts.

51

dragging himself to the kitchen, he pours the mug of coffee, burns his lips and tongue, wonders at the futility of it all. two ice cubes. one in the cup. one on his tongue.

50

he rereads the same thing he just read in hopes of a new outcome, is this insanity, clicking the same icon he just closed hoping for a different result

he will do and ask himself the same roughly four hundred times today

if he is mad, he is in the majority

49

the coffee hits his system, but the days of boundless energy have long past, now all the acidic brown does is shift the fog and wake his bowels

that is enough

48 – 45

he sits
now
on the cold wooden horseshoe
leaning forward
on his fifth run
of the same
god damned thing

44

he writes

43

he deletes

42

he tries again

41 – 38

self doubt and self loathing and coffee and frustration and the knowledge there must be more to it all

37 – 33

he writes, sub par by his estimation though he refuses to go back and read it, but the general gist is sub par

it is always sub par

he wonders why he continues

32

existential crisis on the couch

maybe something new has happened

a notification

just a birthday

existential crisis resumes

31

the fourth alarm tolls, if he is to eat it is now or forever hold his feast

30

he has no food. refuses to eat ramen for breakfast. eyes the ramen anyway. shakes his head. he needs groceries. which means money. which means work. his phone sounds the notification sound. food is forgotten.

29

it was a reminder of the birthday

if he trusted himself to remember birthdays he would disable the notification

he is not

so he does not

28

he is hungry

27

third cup of coffee, he turns the pot off as soon as it is done brewing, if he had patience, he would wait for it to cool, now that it has he guzzles it, soon his stomach is full

it will have to do

26

an idea blossoms

26

it was trash

25

he writes it anyway

ahem

write a poem about the morning routine from first alarm to leaving for work

make it clever

a countdown

don’t name it ticking

24 – 21

standing and staring aimlessly in the closet, a selection of brightly colored shirts

he will select the drab one

he loves that one

he has no one he will see to impress with his color palate

he has no one

20

crumpled back in the bed, laying with the clothes he so carefully made a show of choosing

he has nothing

no one

19

he checks the phone again as he drinks more coffee, aware he will piss ten times the first hour at work, happy he will have something to do that isn’t work

18

now the ideas come to him

17 – 15

he scribbles off another poem, maybe it is the coffee but this one feels better

it isn’t

14

finally he dresses

13

fuck. deodorant.

12

he stares at himself in the mirror, when did he get so ugly, so haggard, so very sad

this is why he has nothing

has no one

if he were attractive

someone could look past his flaws

instead

he rubs in the beard oil, brushes it thoroughly, trims any egregious hairs that refuse to conform

11

more coffee

more checking the feed

he is hungry

10 – 9

aware of how he looks he brushes his teeth in the dark

8 – 5

he picks up and sets down his phone, this goes on, over and again

4

he ties his shoes, dread mounting, the door an insurmountable obstacle

3

he plays with the idea of calling in sick

2

he calls in sick

1

he undresses and crawls back into bed

0

he has to piss