i have never
surfed
never
balanced on the
crest of a wave
as it threatened
to fold over
swallowing me
in the endless
brine

but i have
skated
the edge of
a total
breakdown
as
the world crumbled
beneath my
motionless feet
requiring
deft motion to
slam shut
the door to
demons cackling
in the dark of
my psyche

so i have
an idea
of the rush
yet
a lack of will
to pursue
the ever quaking
bedrock of
my fragile mental state
is exciting
enough
for me.