i have an innate love
for words
because as silly
or obscure
there is always one
perfect word
for a moment

i try to
collect them
store them away
use them
incorrectly on purpose
or through staggering ignorance
i will never say

when
the right word
hits
at the right time
it is like
a gong sounding off
in my head

i found the word
that describes
my broken psyche
my deep depression
one that sums up
my absolute existence
of crippling ache

i am lugubrious
it sounds exactly
as i feel
completely
utterly
without hope of escape
lugubrious