i can turn it on
in
a second
choke down the sadness
fake
a smile
tell a story to
curl your toes
or
make you smile
or
rub your legs together like
a cricket
at the sudden
dampness

but
when i finally turn away
the smile
vanishes
like
a magician
in
a plywood cabinet
like
is this your card
knowing goddamned well
it is as if i never
smiled
we never
talked
you were laughing
at something
but you don’t recall
what

you don’t
know
what i
know
frankly i don’t care
what you do
know
it was a
moment
that ended
there is poetry
to write
women
to love
and i am
terrible
at both
but willing to keep
trying
until one of us
gives up
or
the ink
goes dry