i have taken
to a new obsession
lately
watching
fruits breads vegetables
rot
in time lapsed videos

the natural beauty
ravaged
by time
in no time
then the reclamation
by the mold
the final act
takes my breath

away

i have made
no attempts
to hide my love
of ugly
the beauty
in the filth

and lo
i feel my innards quiver
in fear
disgust
at the inevitability
of it happening
sooner
rather than

later
on this couch
in my boxers
a novelty t-shirt
phone
in hand
her name
still firmly nestled
on the tip of my

tongue.

if you’re reading this
two things
do not resuscitate
and
hit publish
on this poem

let the bastards know
i was
a fucking poet
to the last
goddamned breath.

i am who i am
no less
no more

i just hope
i make a beautiful corpse
of gruesome delights
to amaze
the medical examiner
to spit
in the eye of beauty
one last time