as time shifts gears
to rocket propel
the future into present
present into past
past into murky remembrance
certain shades fade
to dull sepia
emotions erode
until it is impossible
to recall the love
she showered
in the face of how easily
it was for her
to leave it all behind
like consuming raw pineapple
at first
the sweetness
makes the burn
acceptable
but in the end
the enzymes
ate as much of
your now
ulcerated tongue
as you ate of it
all that is left
is sores
that make you wonder
why you ever
went through that
in the first place.

but there you are
after time has passed
the healing ended
at the store
looking longingly
at the fruit of your demise
trying to recall
what it was
exactly
that made you swear off
pineapple
in the first place
ignoring the scars
in foolish hope
that the next one
will be the one
that doesn’t
destroy and pleasure
in equal measure
willing to sacrifice
the future pain
for the present need
even as the past
snickers mockingly
at the idiocy
of it all.

i find it hard
to go produce shopping
alone
because
each and every time
i am filled
with longing
for the past taste
filled with fear
of the next bite
too covered
in the scars
of blunt dismissal
as the enzymes
still coat
the tongue of memory.