i can tell
your fingers
knocking on the door
smell your perfume
from two miles away
fight or flight
ignites
in my chest
but i know
i am flightless
an ostrich
with my head
buried deep
in the sand

how long did it take
to see
the truth in you
even with
all the shit
you put me through
i was still
in love
with you
when it had been
months since
we were through

so if i don’t
open the door
it is because
it is better for me
i finally see
that putting you
first
meant
i was always
second
in your eyes
we both know
what it is
you really
came over for
but that belongs
to someone else