ferryman

if i could do it over
i tell charon
as he guides us
in the creaky boat
across the styx
i would have told
more people that they
can fuck themselves
instead of trying
to keep the peace
between folks that
never thought of
anyone but themeselves

charon says nothing
just nods along
with the black waves

other than that
good and bad
sad and happy
i continue as
the souls of the
damned scream
of endless tortures
and fields of light
other than that
i was far luckier
than a poor fool
ever likely deserved
good friends
the one with wildflowers
in her smile
the kids
i had it better
than most could ever
possibly dream of

charon stares ahead
no sign that he
heard a word i spoke

you don’t say much
i ask as tears
run down my cheeks
wondering if i
told them i loved them
enough times
did it balance out the
words in anger
was she aware
i looked for her
my entire life
and loved her
with the heat of
a thousand suns
did the kids know
without them
i dont know if i
ever truly lived
they guided me along
when all i wanted
was to give up
were my friends lives
made any better
for my dark cloud
or did i just steal
rays of light
from each to try and
brighten my
patch of the void

charon said nothing
simply pointed
as the boat stopped
he held out his hand
in which i placed
two shiny coins
then i stepped out
onto the black sand
unsure of where to go
i turned to ask
but the silent figure
was already gone
and i knew then
i had never been
so very alone

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