a lonely fool in nature

how long have i
sat here as the sun
baked through the
tinted windows of
the car watching
the squirrels frolic
and frolic they did
in the tall grass
waving at me calmly?

my urban camouflage
has been perfected
as i blend in with the
nondescript buildings
lining whichever
industrial park with
a tamed view of nature
i find myself parked at
dreading the small talk
the security guard who
proudly knows my name
that i call buddy
just the same as everyone
else i have forgotten.

unfortunately feeling
pretty decent about the
last story which means
now i am anxious the next
will falter in comparison
finding little nits to
pick at in my endless
pursuit of self sustained
miseries because my brain
won’t accept i am happy
even though i seem to be
as i tell the squirrels
tired from rolling about
about my trip to austin
and the cedars out around
sleepy little bastrop.

i don’t think they would
understand that the decrease
in oxygen levels has made
them much smaller throughout
time or perhaps they would
be angry at the greenhouse
gases being released into
the flailing atmosphere or
even care in the slightest
about the ice age that
cut across texas and left
the idyllic hills with
all the billboards for
gas stations and fast food
marring the breathtaking view.

they prefer to hear about
her wildflower smile and
the thrill of new discoveries
while the sparrows listen
two crows feign disinterest
while hopping ever closer
to hear about the giant
plastic squirrel outside the
pecan farm sonewhere next to
a place with dinosaur tracks.

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