numb and death defiant to a fault

i felt it
all go sideways
going ninety
around the turn
right before
one eight three
meets thirty five
the front tire
dipped into
the sewer drain
long compacted
by semi traffic
the car dipped
the suspension
flexed mightily
and i was one tire
in the air
over the warbling
asphalt with
concrete barriers
on my left and
a large pick up
directly to my right

and i sat numb
uncaring as my body
went on instinct
as i tapped for
a good song to die to
then carried on
as if nothing happened
to the next empty spot
with a little shade
where i could sit
wondering if maybe
i died ten miles back
yet my idiot soul
continued on
ever the obedient slave
incapable of deviation
from the set routine
that brings no pleasure
no sense of purpose
just wasting away
an ashen sculpture
of failure personified

spewing my thoughts
into the emptiness
seeking connections
in a disconnected sphere
repeating past transgressions
with no ability
to learn from the past
speeding into oblivion
with a frown
permanently plastered
on my stupid face
hearing all the words
that were not spoken
yet shine clear as day

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