the latest in a long line of learning my best was never close enough

i leave a trail
of my broken behind me
so i never forget
that hell
is a constant
i can retrace my steps
and find
exactly where my heart
was deemed unworthy
my words left ignored
by the craters
where i impacted
after another
subtle denial

still i whisper
every ounce of love
into the indifference
where my soul
coagulates in mud
as if that will ever
be enough to be seen
even momentarily
knowing i will be
forgotten once more
as soon as the words
fall from my
pale maggot lips

you don’t get
in proportion to
all that you give
you collect the dust
and wonder why
you always feel empty
as you stare up
at the ceiling that
has grown accustomed
to ignoring your pleas
lost and alone
bleeding out
and no one really notices
they just step
carefully around
the stains where your best
wasn’t nearly enough


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