phantom organs

i exist
somewhere between
the falling
raindrops
out of step
with the world
a phantom
intangible as
life goes on
all around me
watching as
busy people
pass through me
a tender surrender
of inconsequential
need in cold waves
and i fear
falling down
plummeting through
the ground itself
to drift alone
in the spaces
between thought

sitting in a
small town parking lot
lost in a hell
of my own division
impatiently waiting
for the golden horns
to sound armageddon
a final battle
to spectate before
being run through
by the flaming sword
of divine distaste
another pile of ash
with a vacant skull
staring off into
an eternity alone

anxiety was a cat
who stole my foolish
tongue to silence
the steady stream of
incoherent apologies
a demon tearing
the ability to cry out
as volcanos erupt
in my stomach
longing for the
water level to rise
high enough to drown
the listless vessel
of languished loss
another bloated corpse
entangled in seaweed
staring up at a sun
that no longer shines
just a memory of
light and warmth
from another plane

the raindrops fall
all around me
yet none manage to
run along the edges
of fractured hope
a tectonic soulshift
engineering endings
as the angels swarm
the gray skies
and the devils rise
from smoking craters
bloody claws raking
fiery lines of
unbearable agony
in a neverending cycle
of universal expansion
toward the horizon
i can never move
fast enough to
catch up to as the
earth shudders and
my incorporeal form
loses substance
with every tonal shift
as the spaces between
temporal anomalies
becomes the only truth
in this heady path
toward self destruction
in cyclical depressions

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