caroling

i hope
the three spirits
visit me
this evening
i need some
self help tips
on obtaining
the spirit of
christmas and
let’s face it
my people skills
are tragic
and that’s being
overly kind

curious to
spend another
sleepless evening
revisiting my
past and over
analyzing each
and every misstep
or fretting over
this silent hell
that occupies
the present day
and how lovely
to see my demise
the many smiling
faces of former
friends celebrating
a dead fool

i won’t wake up
a better person or
one better equipped
for this world of
existential horror
no fat goose or
new crutch in sight
just the same bastard
who has proven how
irredeemable a stain
i have always been
locked in this
unwinnable war with
my own broken mind
no sudden festive
glow in my sunken
despondent gaze

merry christmas
to all and to all
a good night
or whatever
time is a construct
and god probably
hates the attention
that’s why prayers
are left unread

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