there were
years of bitter
misunderstanding
where the world
seemed entirely
against me
years where i
was in blissful
denial my mind
was at fault

even as i heard
the word bipolar
i scoffed at
such a ridiculous
diagnosis as the
symptoms described
my deteriorating
disposition

i was never an
agnostic because
that felt like
hedging your bets
and if there is
a god, she certainly
doesn’t respect
only dipping your toe

instead i was an
anosognosiac
killing everything
that i loved while
begging that same
god to ease my pain
knowing full well
she wasn’t there

it took too long
to accept what i am
and i am certainly
not ashamed any longer
it let’s me see
the beauty in pain
and somehow i have found
connections through
the falling prose

we are all dandelions
forcing our way
through jagged cracks
in the concrete
small and feeling
mostly ignored but
our dander reaches
farther than we could
ever hope to see
once we accept that
flaws make perfection

some days
perfection
is all
i can see