despite
the rather dour
nature of the
words i tend
to smile
throughout
the day
since i am
out and about
in public

but lately
the reactions
seem different
a byproduct of
the newly
restored confidence
adding a sparkle
to the grin

i spent so
long being made
smaller
i forgot to
exist
when someone
important
treats you as
anything but
you begin to
believe you are
nothing at all

turns out
that is bullshit
but one difficult
to clean off

i think i do
exist
and that
occasionally
that’s okay
and that
occasionally
it is not
and that’s okay
as well

broken but
still moving
ever forward
unto the abyss