dissociative blues

anxiety hits
i know
i am home
but my mind
cannot tell
if it is
one of the many
hotels dissociating
familiar folly
and i want to
be home but
i know
it doesnt
fucking matter
where i am

it’s all
the same

or sweetwater
or marshall
or wherever

i cannot
escape myself

too tired
to run farther
four hundred
miles in a repetition
and i am unsure
where i am
just waves of
confusion as i
try to remember
how to breathe
a desperation
of kisses blown
into a cyclone
of panicked
dissociative blues

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