my happiness
is a castle made
out of sand
and my mind is
the seawater
dissolving the
foundation
eroding the
firmament with
an unacceptance
this cathedral
is one i deserve

i don’t see
the world the same
way others do
and i don’t see
myself at all
a walking smudge
light bending
around my wavy
incorporeal form

i sit in the wake
with a plastic
shovel and bucket
trying desperately
to patch the walls
i keep stubbornly
tunneling through
in a terminal loop
of self destruction
amateur engineer
turned self saboteur
designing effigies
with fatal flaws
and an itchy finger
on the detonator