i have always
felt like an outsider
the odd one out
because of this
cocktail in my brain

a lack of self
leaves a hollow poet
desperate for connection
without the belief
it is deserved

an insistence on
overexamining every
shift in atmosphere
to pinpoint exactly
where i failed
always finding the fault line
in my tectonic disarray

so when a friend
stops being friendly
and treats me like an outsider
cuts me off or spins lies
they have no intent of fulfilling

i get it
they just reaffirm
what i always felt
but it still stings
being proven right
as i slink off
into the night