went out for a coffee with a trans lady, curiosity abounded, the struggle, the looks, the questions from with in and out, stepping out of our comfort zones

she was beautiful, polite and aware to how precious life is, born one thing but destined to be another

we chatted about normal things, books and art, writing and football, a friendship sparked over an equal disdain for the local team

she knew she was in the wrong body as a child but didn’t know how to articulate it, she liked boys but wasn’t gay, it was troubling and impossible to explain, so she kept it locked away

tried to live an abnormal life in which normal was never a consideration, it was captivating and I found myself feeling sorrow for the pain she endured, but she would have none of that, even then she was stunning and shined brightly in a way that needs experienced, words cannot convey

we have been chatting back and forth, having been raised and knowing the LGBTQ from a young age it was not strange to me, that was strange to her though, raised in a small town with no frame of reference she always felt a step out of sync, it wasn’t until five years ago she found her voice

she wants to have surgery, to become on the out what has always been inside, saving every penny, hoping against hope

we talked for a long time, of hopes and fantasies, of being who we want to be, unchained by convention, there was no spark of passion between us, but a bond was forged all the same, she likes black men, I like white women, no amount of surgeries could rectify those conditions, but we met because we both were filled with curious whims, looking for a friend without a need for more

but I made her a deal then and there, she finds her soulmate and I will wear a dress and be her best man, she has plenty of wigs and can make me pretty, or so she claims

she is transgender, not a magician I stated

she laughed, and we laughed all the harder together, the absurdity of it all, I never imagined she would agree

I hope she finds what she dreams of

makes this world slightly better for having one dream come true

the talks grew heavy and we turned to our love of musicals to lighten the load, an impromptu time warp into science fiction double feature, turned into a bond and a long hug of thanks, awkward as she is six inches taller than me

she accepted me for being true to who I am and accepting her for who she is and I dreamt of her as she will one day be, the same but perfected to the image in her mind

she moved to New York this morning, left me a perfumed note sealed with lipstick kisses

we may not have found love but we found something even better, she wrote, we found a safe place in this world of hate and misunderstandings and that is something no one can ever take away from us, she will hold me to my deal and paint me into a work of art when her special day comes

she signed it with love always and another kiss in bright pink

post script that one day I would have love of my own, to not let the voices in my head say different, I am a beacon in the dark and my moth would find me, this depression just makes me beautiful

tears dripped onto the note, for all she has been through she still only wishes for love and happiness, a lesson learned and friendship earned

if ever someone deserved everything it is her, and if there is any justice in this world she will find it

maybe we all will one day, one dream at a time

the best of luck to you my friend, sweet Lana born Luke, you are more complete than most I have known, aware of who you are in ways most never achieve, and nothing is out of your grasp

but remember, I will require special heels for the ceremony, eleven and a half wide, but I have a feeling you know someone

we will be pretty together, love your friend, ME