she sees me from across the room

not a flicker on her face of recognition

as if i’m a stranger

not the man that held her as she slept for five years of fitfull dreams

any hope in my heart died at that moment

not that there was much

we had been in this cold war for far too long

our countries threatening nuclear devastation in calmly assured tones

mutual attraction turned to mutual destruction turned to two strangers in an empty restaurant

she stands by the table

i signal for her to sit

she impolitely refuses

just drops a manilla envelope and turns on her heel and walks away

i pick it up and without meaning to her scent fills my heart with thoughts best left unthought

of staring into her eyes as our sweaty bodies writh on purple sheets

her softly uttered moans of delight

declarations of love and orgasmic shivering

moving as one

living as one

the waiter brings menu but i stand and make my way to the door

she is sitting in her car watching the doorway with cold eyes

whatever happened to the range of emotion they used to spill to me

what happened to us

too much

too many lies

too many secret missions

classified and wrapped in red tape

only the higher ups have access and they aren’t talking

an ambush is coming

i feel the eyes from bushes and dark stoops all around me

let them come

i steel myself for the barrage

it’s him

the him that was the root of all of our animosity

he smiles at me

tips his hat and ushers towards the alley to his left

of course she sent him

why not have the man that finished us try and finish me for good

i nod and motion for him to go first

his eyes are two pinpoints of pure hatred as they bore into mine

i try and give off an icy cool demeanor

but i’m ready

never so ready

it isn’t fair what happens to the poor patsy

she tossed him to the lion and knew exactly what outcome would occur

it is two minutes of me punching and kicking him

not satisfied to hear his wheezing cries of mercy

i kick until i’m sure his ribs are broken

hoping to pierce his soft parts with jagged bone

another casualty of war

i see in his eyes he understands

he was a pawn

a foot soldier

i pull out a lighter and ignite the manilla envelope

unopened

and toss it next to his grimacing face before continuing down the alley

unwilling to see her face again

she’ll get the message loud and clear

as will her handlers

sending her was just the next step of cruelty

another battle in the cold war we fight

and we are just victims

pieces on a the chess board

still

i miss her face

her lips

but sentimentality is for weaker men

and i was weak for far too long

one of these days she will show up with a pistol and end me

looking forward to that for sure