she is the sound of dishes breaking

branches against a window in the dead of the night

a sensation of speeding downhill with no brakes as the railroad crossing arms begin to lower and the whistle blares

when the knife cuts in but is so sharp you only feel pressure for the first few seconds before the pain blossoms and crimson arcs

she is the first rays of light slicing the darkness of another nightmare

the rain lightly falling in the middle of a heatwave when tired legs have given out

she is amorphous

slinking through the dusty rooms of your mind seeking hidden secrets lost to time

a healing balm

burning acid

she is everything you dreamt love would be as child fat from happily ever afters

and every horrifying reality that came down upon your head there after

she is mother daughter lover saint

she is venom terror hatred sin

impossible to define

to hold

to capture for more than a brief struggle leaving you on your back and the breath knocked from you

wheezing panting pleading crying

laughing loving consuming dying

how would i define her

everything and nothing in a chaotic ball of beauty and remorse cascading like a dream

you can’t define nature

just merely try and survive it

give testament to primordial fury

proudly brandish your scars

she is life in a dead world

death in paradise

she is not mine nor is she yours

she belongs to no one but herself

but that doesn’t stop fools from trying to brand her

chain her up and hide her away

idiots with grandiose plans and destined to fail

to fall

and she steps daintily

her feet never touching the ground

remaining unsoiled by the folly of man

yet dripping singular promise as she walks away

she is love in a world of hatred manifested

joy in the sorrowful existence

savage in gentleness

her fingers dripping with your life blood and you can do nothing but thank her for the seconds of her time

curse her for not sticking around

she is exactly who she claims to be and defies expectations

i love her

but she is far to aloof to notice an insect like me

denies me even the satisfaction of being ground beneath her heel

yet i still dream