my phone buzzed and distractedly i looked down at it
it was her
that cold ball of lava began to build up inside me
whatcha doin
ignore it
don’t answer
it’s okay to ignore it
this raid leads only to despair
nothing
okay
it’s fine
that was vague
so you slipped
it happens
no worries
oh
she’s fishing
there is no response needed to an oh
you fulfilled your obligation to societal niceness
pat yourself on the back
good boy
set the phone down and walk away
wanna get coffee and talk
no you absolutely do not want to get fucking coffee nor do you want to talk
we’ve talked about this mike
long into the night
she wants something
don’t give in
are you typing
are you seriously fucking typing a response
eat shit doesn’t start with y
mike
idiot
why, what’s going on
i’m done with you
this is the last time i try to help you
i’m bored
it’s a trap
what did he do this time
okay
i see
defuse the situation with having to stare into her eyes across the table
then you don’t daydream about kissing those lips again
of her teeth on your collarbone
of your tongue on her inner thigh
what the fuck does that mean
i don’t only talk to you when he and i are having problems
remember that thing she does with her tongue
that flicking motion
god that felt good
actually
you do
or you want something from me
help
dick
what are you doing
stop it
you’re being confrontational
that mole on her left cheek
the one shaped like a heart
are you really going to piss that away
she’s fighting with him
what’s a cup of coffee
fuck you
great job asshole
now she’s mad
i assume that’s where this was headed
i hate you mike
i truly hate you
it was but it isn’t now
you inconsiderate bastard
you are an idiot
good
pretend we’re still together and go fuck him instead
told you that you’d miss me
well you ruined that didn’t you
i hate you
you and me both girl
you and me both
if i’m honest i’ve had more than a few
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oh god. I had a relationship once sort of like this. And almost the same internal monologue. My brain shouting, don’t do it! while my fingers somehow did it anyway. *sigh* I felt so pathetic. I guess I still do.
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we all have that one piece of kryptonite where the two voices don’t mesh in sync i believe
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Perhaps
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