there is a black hole in my center

a ravenous hunger

a need that nothing i can find will satiate

it’s always been there

this desire

a bottomless pit of want

no drug nor drink can fill this churning haunting thing

nothing can stay this itch in the back of my mind

this emptiness of the soul

an open opiate receptor in the crackling synapses

it has been missing since birth

and no matter what shaped piece i try to finagle into the slot it is always lacking

a new form

something beyond mathematics

disengaged from theoretical physics

i just know this need

consumed by want

vibrating at a frequency that exists on a plane not in tune with any ever perceived by fragile mortals

something taken away

possibly as far back as the womb

and my legs cannot sit still

cramping and shaking like a hummingbird on methamphetamines

could it be you dear friend

could you hold the key to a lifelong pursuit of intangibles impossible to bring to heel

do you know this clenched desire for something you have never truly tasted

salivating

inebriated on pure need

bound by lust and avarice

blindly hunting game that has no urge to be tamed or conquered by feeble hands grasping for more

more

tearing apart the past semblence of humanity and leaving a husk behind

do you even exist

or are you another fever dream sent to taunt me as charge headlong from crash to failed endeavors

my quixotic quest to slay the monsters that don’t threaten my home

hello

are you there

don’t be scared

take my hand and let’s lay waste to this foundation of lies and games

rain down destruction on those that seek to break our will

they know the truth of it

harbor secrets that could blow the doors wide open on this entire conspiracy

they have what i need

or know where to get it

give me a second

my mind is whipped into a berserker mode and i cannot tell friend from foe

real from make believe

need from want

go ahead

i’ll be there soon

we’ll make them pay for what they’ve done

instilling these feelings into us with bargain basement ingredients and mob mentality antics

my arm is tingling and sweat is flooding from my pores

is the room spinning or am i

doesn’t matter

we are so close to the truth

the answers

let me close my eyes for a second and rest

find my balance

then we make them suffer

this will go down in history

i just need to rest

just a second

please