been sitting ready for half an hour

coiled and ready to strike the day

drinking water and purifying my mind for the trauma about to come

another day another disaster waiting in the wings

about to face my fears of leaving the nest and falling to my death in a spiralling plummet reserved for the most heinous of offenders

or i am just aggravated this morning

this nasty cold will not relinquish it’s hold

i slept the broken sleep of the uneasy dreamer

hints but no clear recollection of the glimpses into the world between worlds

just my trusty migraine and a general sense of something being off

probably nothing

hope to end this journey today or tomorrow and begin anew at some different hospital

one where my guide doesn’t think anyone being friendly is flirting

he has himself convinced half the nurses are after him

and the other half are after me

just because of polite conversation made to pass the time

i tried to explain but he wanted none of it

his fantasy world

so i left him with it

but a week and it feels like it is becoming too easy to fall into routine

i have enough routines

this is not one i seek

i like the unexplored

weaning myself off of the comfortable and back into the weird

i need an excursion into the strange again

a romp into the off kilter free form imagination land

away from the herd

sniffing unfamiliar scents

tasting new things

but the sentence is two weeks of solitary

and it isn’t like i understand the mating rituals or subtle dance

so i pack my cave with comfort and seek it’s dark interior

allowing the longing is the first step to healing

or it is in my fractured mind

and that is enough

baby steps to fully functional

no need to leap before i am capable of crawling

we’ll let the ground slip out from underneath us and adjust accordingly

watch people and drink coffee

wish it had a nip of whiskey

or a couple broken joints to ease the re-entry burn

the fasten seat belt light is on and i have to pee but it looks like i am holding it until we find a stretch of swamp to crash land into

i’m good

it’s good

i’m lying