i came to the realization today

the wide open eye, breath choking in my throat, sweaty palm conclusion

i’m dying

it’s fine

i’ve accepted it

one of these days instead of angrily opening my eyes and muttering a hearty fuck you to an uncaring world

i just won’t

the poems will stop

everything else will keep going

dogs will shit in yards

cars will consume gas

most likely only five or six people will really notice

and only half of them will care

it will be business as normal

i’m okay with this

i’m not sick or anything

not that i know of at least

it seemed prudent to come to peace with it now

not that it matters

not really

the kids are my legacy

a handful of hastily scribbled words

will i think of you at that last breath

once more wish you were here

that we would have had that chance to kiss and laugh and fight and love one another like we were the only two people on the planet

if it happens today

yes

if it happens in a year, a decade

hate to admit it

yes

you imprinted pretty hard on my soul, took over my mind

all i know is i don’t know anything

and my time for learning has an expiration date