feat(her)

i told myself
sternly
no more writing about love
i made myself swear
no more

the she
the her
the dream
the need

it is all
so empty
so pointless

let it go
fade away into the pit
in your stomach
the tumor in your brain
it is cancerous
slowly killing you
draining your will to live
to create

so i tried

all i can imagine
is your arms around me
falling
into your embrace

now all the words
how all the words
seem shaped
by the idea

of you

i failed myself
in failing you

now i have failed
the solemn oath
as well

this love
is my sisyphean trial
a burden
light as a feather
that crushes
with the weight of a star
always
a million light years away

4 thoughts on “feat(her)

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