(un)asleep

it’s four
in the morning
a time for
introspection(unwanted)
to come
stomping
down the staircase of
my brain stem
to kick me
out of dream
where my soul
isn’t
burning with
loneliness(unending)
to stare up
at the ceiling
as the last
suckered tentacle
of replayed
dreamfuckery
stabs deeply
the velvet bag of
dried spices
pressed flower petals
and airport kisses
where my heart
used to
beat with
love(unreturned)

i just want
fall
back into her
into dreammusing
into the inky black
heartshatter(unbound)
but
the pangs of
wakefulness
remind me
that some
insipid longings
are best left
to wither
on the gnarled
branches of her
entangled
disenchantment
in my
dreamstate(unasleep)

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