garde(n)ing

i churn the
ugliness i see
in the mirror
out the window
all around me
into pellets of
melancholic beauty
that i spit
over the fence
to grow like weeds
just out of sight
infusing each
poetic mumbling
with a sense of
self worthlessness
at odds with my
all encompassing
love for her
the scent of
wildflower blossoms
and frenetic need
seeking solace in
azure skies above
drifting farther
towards the hells
that lurk in silence
a conundrum of dream
madly splashing about
in fountains of hope
drowning in a pool
of desperate desire
churning the ugly
mocking in the mirror
as flames scorch
the earth just outside
spitting seeds of
beautiful melancholia
smokestack dementias
as blue turns to gray
planting fields of
insubstantial need
on the salted soil
of too much time
spent floundering alone

i wake
your name on
the tip of my
tongue
a prayer
given freely
to guide you
into my embrace
a garden of
unopened blooms
meant for your
infinite
perfection
alone

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