my emotions
are off kilter
happiness
feels foreign
while bouts of
wracking sobs
pass through
without warning
i knew as i spun
around the bed
schrodinger’s fool
consistently
getting up on
the wrong side
today would be trying

there is a deficit
of happy chemicals
leaving a haze of
sorrowful anger
that seasons every
stray thought towards
hurt and confusion
an energetic depression
discombobulating
the taste of today

i am off balance
tumbling through
razorwire miseries
able to see through
the intangibility of joy
as the universe
spirals ever faster
while i lose my
tenuous grip
to spin out into
the vacuum of space
dying by inches
in the searing cold
the finite duality
trapped in this hell
of living and dying alone